


Moving On

by conceptstage



Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [27]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 16:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Nott wants Yasha to open up to the possibility of falling in love again.





	Moving On

Yasha was staring again. 

She cleared her throat when she realized and looked down at where she was sharpening her sword in her lap. Nott was sitting nearby, roasting the Owlbear meat over the fire, and looked up at her at the sudden noise. “Hm? Did you say something?”

“I… No… No, I didn’t say anything.” Was her face red? It felt hot. She hadn’t been like this since she was a teenager watching Zuala training from across the the fighting pit.

Nott frowned and tilted her head curiously. “Are you sick? You’re turning red.”

“I’m just…” she took deep breath and looked pointedly down at her sword. “I’m fine, Nott.”

Nott left the fire and came to sit beside her on the overturned log. “If you ever wanted to talk about something that was bothering you…” she let the offer trail off.

Yasha sighed. “There is… someone. A… person.” The pauses between vague words was awkward. She gripped the grinding stone in her hand tightly and started laying into her sword in frustration. “A… pretty person. Who I might… like. A little bit.”

Nott grinned. “That’s great! Who is it? It’s not Beau, is it? She will be insufferable if she finds out someone has a crush on her.”

“Beau is… Beau is great. I really care about her.”

Nott blinked and waited for her to continue, only speaking when it became clear that she didn’t plan to. “Buuuuut….”

“It’s not her.”

Nott hummed thoughtfully and looked out over the team. “Jester?” Yasha didn’t respond this time. “Is it Jester? That’s kind of adorable.”

Yasha paused and then turned to frown at her. “Really?”

“Yeah, I think the two of you would be great together. She’s so full of energy and you’re-”

“...Not?”

“Sure, that’s a nicer way to put it. Your aesthetics are on completely different ends of the spectrum, so it’s quite a visual in that way too. And, you know, I can only think a few times that I’ve ever seen you smile. A lot of them were with Molly. The rest were with Jester.” She grinned at Yasha and the large woman felt her face get hot again, so she looked away. “What was Zuala like? Was she anything like Jester?”

Yasha was surprised by the question and jumped as if she were startled, dragging the stone across her knee accidentally. “Z-Zuala-”

“Sorry, do you not want to talk about her?”

“I- No, it’s okay. I can talk about her. It’s just… been awhile.” She took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it out. “Zuala was nothing like Jester. She was… more like Beau if I’m being honest. She loved a good fight. Fighting always… uhhhh, put her in a good mood. She always had something sarcastic to say and she was quick to anger. And she was so small, I don’t know where she kept all that rage. She was… She was always standing up for me. Always telling me to get angry. I didn’t get angry a lot. It didn’t come naturally to me. Th-That part has changed. Obviously.” She paused for a moment to string together her thoughts. “People used to… what is the saying- walk all over me? I didn’t care about them enough to get mad about it. But she would stand beside me and say things like ‘Don’t let him talk to you like that, Yashie’ and ‘You don’t have to take that from them’. I felt strong when I was with her.”

“And Jester makes you feel like that?”

Yasha hesitated. “In… a different way. I know that I’m strong now. I know that I can take care of myself. I know how to get angry. She makes me feel like- Like I can protect someone else. It’s a different kind of strength. And I like it.”

Nott grinned. “So, when are you going to make a move?”

Yasha looked confused. “Never. I still love my wife. I will always love her until the day I die.”

“Well, obviously. That’s not what I said. Falling in love again doesn’t cancel out older love, that’s not how it works.”

“My people marry for life. I’m still married to her even if she is not here.”

Nott gave her a small smile. “If I died,” she said, quietly. “If I had died that night with the goblins and never come home, I would want Yeza to fall in love and be happy again, even if it was with someone else. I don’t want to speak for Zuala, I don’t know what her opinion on this would have been, you know her best. Would she have wanted you to to move on?”

“She-” Yasha paused. “Yes. She would have. She thought people who dwelled on the past were fools.” She cleared her throat and shook her head. “But that doesn’t mean I can move on with Jester. I know it’s futile to pursue someone in love with someone else. We have stories of people who withered and died because their affections weren’t returned. I don’t intend to wither any time soon.”

“Well, I don’t think you should just give up. Jester is more mature than she seems, if she knew that you were an option she wouldn’t just brush you off.” Yasha didn’t answer this time and just stared ahead into the distance. Nott sighed. “Well, maybe just take it slow. She was talking about gathering firewood. Maybe you could go with her? Maybe tell her what you told me about Zuala.”

Yasha still didn’t speak but, just when Nott was about to give up and walk away, the large woman got to her feet. “Thanks,” she mumbled, walking towards Jester across the campfire. 

Jester grinned at her and jumped to her feet when she caught her eyes. “Yasha!”

“Do you… Firewood?” Yasha asked, he face blank but her voice shaking.

“Oh, sure. Let’s go!”

Nott grinned and suddenly remembered that she’d been doing something when the smell of smoke hit her nose. “Oh fuck!”

“Nott!” Fjord yelled. “Did you burn dinner?”


End file.
